One of the most valuable things that we can earn in this lifetime is the trust of others. Trust is normally not freely given to someone, it is earned. People earn trust in a variety of ways. They may consistently show care, concern, or be of service to another. We facilitate others to trust in us when we encourage them to openly share their thoughts and feelings with us, while we listen intently. We further gain their trust when we do not judge, criticize, nor belittle their vulnerabilities. We earn another person’s trust by allowing them to show us their most vulnerable self and making them feel safe in so doing. There are untrustworthy people who learn about others’ vulnerabilities, and then turn around and use those against them by exposing those vulnerabilities to the outside. Doing this shatters trust almost instantly. Just like fragile glass, it shatters upon impact. There are many ways to earn trust, and there are just as many ways to break trust.
Trust also comes from within. Trust begins from within each and every one of us. To be highly self-confident, we must trust our own abilities, qualities, and judgements. We must listen to our “gut” and trust our intuition and inner voice. We normally want the best for ourselves, and we steer ourselves toward the safe path in all areas of life. When we fail to protect and value ourselves, that is when we lose trust in our own very being. We don’t trust our decisions, choices, behaviors, nor intentions. When we wholeheartedly trust ourselves, then we can spill that overflow of trust on to others. Many people who do not trust themselves, don’t trust others. They maintain a sense of skepticism.
It is fascinating to watch blown glass art be created. The final products are gorgeous and extremely delicate. One must handle blown glass art with the utmost of care. The marvelous colors, breathtaking designs, and intricate details just capture the human spirit. As fragile as blown glass is, trust is no different. When we place our trust in someone, we give them a piece of our essence. If someone betrays our trust, it is as if they took delicate blown glass and purposely threw it on the ground to shatter into a million little pieces. To try to put all of those tiny pieces back together is next to impossible. That is why it is challenging to regain someone’s trust once it has been broken. We’ve shattered a piece of their essence.
In business, people trust companies that stay true to their commitments. Organizations commit to deliver valuable products and solid services. When products are faulty or service is poor, customers tend to lose trust in a business. Employers earn trust from their employees when they commit to provide them with excellent benefits, generous salaries, and a healthy work/life balance. Essentially, they make their employees a priority and link them to their own success. Companies who devalue their employees face severe consequences when trust is broken. These companies lose the trust of not only their employees, but also of their communities and sometimes that on a global scale.
There are instances that someone we trust breaks our trust unintentionally. Perhaps we shared a story with a friend, but failed to tell them that we wanted it to be kept a secret. When that friend happens to be speaking with someone else and shares our story with them during the course of conversation, we may feel betrayed should we ever find out that our story was leaked. There are lots of examples where trust is broken simply due to miscommunication or lack thereof.
One of the best ways to earn and keep trust is to be fully transparent. When we are clear with our intentions and communications, then there is less room for unintentional mishaps. We gain the trust of others because we are being genuine. The most authentic individuals are the ones that we tend to honor and trust the most. Even people who are by nature straight forward, always telling it like it is, gain the trust of many. Sharp shooters, as I call them, are trusted because people know they are being their authentic self. There are no lies and no masks with this type of people, they get straight to the point. This no-nonsense approach earns trust. Then there are those who may not communicate as aggressively. These individuals relay their communications in a more gentle and humble fashion. Humility is also an important way to earn trust. People who approach a situation or discussion with a sense of humility tend to be regarded as being more trustworthy than those who don’t. When a person admits to making a mistake, takes ownership of it, and makes an effort to resolve their error, they earn trust. Others realize that mistakes are made and can be fixed with proper effort. Forgiveness is granted. The humility in admitting the error is what helps to earn and retain the trust of others.
It can be challenging for many to admit that they have made an error. When someone does not take ownership of a wrongdoing, then they lose trust. This is why ego and pride must be put in check. Having a big ego or being too prideful to apologize for a mistake, comes with the consequence of being perceived as being less trustworthy. To lose trust is one of the most upsetting situations.
Our goal should be to earn trust from as many people as we can during our lifetime. It is truly one of the most valuable things that we can earn. Be honest with others. Stay true to yourself. Consistently interact with integrity and sincerity. Embrace others for who they are and make them feel safe and secure to be authentically themselves. These are the basic ingredients for handling trust delicately with true care.
Image Source: Glass Art by Bryce Dimitruk
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