Sometimes we lose ourselves to others. We may give ourselves up to our job for example. Sacrificing our sleep, eating, and health to do a good job and prove ourselves in our career. Some even sacrifice their relationships and family time for their career. They allow work to consume them and their time. We spend more time with our boss and work colleagues than we do with our significant other and children.
Sometimes we lose ourselves in our intimate relationships. We have it all together…our home life, work life, family life, but when it comes to our intimate relationships, we are a mess. We sacrifice ourselves to gain our partner’s love, time, attention, desire, etc. We spend countless hours making ourselves attractive for their approval. We jump to join them in anything and everything that they want us to do. We forfeit time spent with friends and family to spend with our partner instead. In my previous relationships, I lost myself in them because I simply did not have any healthy boundaries. I wanted so desperately to please my partner, that I did almost anything to do so. I sacrificed so much of myself to keep the relationship. Years later, once objectivity and maturity had set in, I wondered why I had ever done that to myself. Did I dislike myself that much? Was I that obsessed with my partner that I would give up my own needs for them? Why was I so willing to lose myself for a relationship? Getting to the root of my Why offered a revelation to me.
Sometimes we lose ourselves to our family. Perhaps parents have such high hopes for us, that we spend a significant portion of our life trying to please them. We attempt to become all that they’ve envisioned us to be…even if this is not the vision that we hold for ourselves. Maybe we never really wanted to get married or have children, but because our family had those expectations of us, we opted to go along with their agenda. We get married and have a few kids to please them and society.
Many parents lose themselves to their children. They are so overwhelmed with everything that is required for successful parenting, that they focus on that instead of their own self. Many parents sacrifice for their children to the point that it starts to cause problems within their own union/marriage.
Life is demanding on a multitude of levels. Our task is to determine what portion of our existence we wish to devote to each aspect of our life. Time management is a key factor in ensuring that your temporary life is not spent living solely for others and neglecting yourself. There are two main tasks that our soul is here to achieve. The first is to input as much as possible into the soul through a variety of experiences which help us gain knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. The other task of the soul is to extract from itself and leave a type of signature on the Earth prior to departing. This could come in the form of helping Mother Earth, wildlife, or humanity in some small or big ways. What you wish to experience is what matters, for your experiences will ultimately make your life feel empty or fulfilled.
Basically, we lose our sense of self when we start to live for others. When we no longer prioritize our own needs and desires, and sacrifice them for others, that’s when we get lost in the tide of life. The minute we take ownership of our life, and voice who we are, what we want, and how we’re going to get there, we are often met with resistance. There reaches a point when the people, who we have placed in priority over ourselves, start to no longer be in our lives. Maybe we have switched jobs, ended a relationship, or had family members pass away. It is at those junctions that we come to realize that we no longer know who we are and what we want. We may be asked to find our passion and pursue a dream of ours, yet we are stuck because we don’t quite know what it is that our heart wants to achieve. We are left in a state of limbo. We are challenged to define ourselves and our new life path. The other thing that happens is the original path that we were on no longer feels appropriate for us, and we are compelled to make a pivot in life. This pivot leads us closer to our authentic self. We may pursue a completely new path now that we are liberated from those previous situations and/or people.
There are many things that influence us to lose ourselves. Striving to please others, living up to familial traditions, trying to prove something to someone, and overachieving for recognition are but a few of the ways that we can lose sight of who we are and what we really need and want.
Taking the time to connect to yourself is vital for a healthy life. We must find a way to balance all of the aspects of our life including work, family, parenting, volunteering, home management, and especially ourselves. Taking the time to rest, get a massage, pursue hobbies and interests, and to connect with our inner self is crucial to our overall wellbeing. We need alone time away from those we love and our other responsibilities. It is also important to find time to process the various things that are going on in our life, and to do a “touch-base” with our soul. When we grant ourselves time, love, and attention then our body and soul have the opportunity to bond and align again. We need to connect with our own emotional energies that are brewing inside of us. We can make time to acknowledge the mental energies that are zipping around in our mind. We must do a check-in on a physical level to trim our nails, cut our hair, and do other general maintenance for our body. By reconnecting with ourselves, we are better able to tackle the many responsibilities that we have in life. It is important to ensure that our body and soul are strong, so that they can continue to handle and experience everything that life has going on. Ask yourself what aspects in life have disconnected you from yourself. Be bold and courageous to come up with a game plan as to how you can start to take back control of yourself and your life. Remember that each of us is here on Earth for a limited amount of time. We are born, and the mystery piece is how soon or how far out our death date is. The time between our birth and death is our lifetime. For some, that time is short, while others end up living a much longer life. Either way, it is up to us how we will utilize this limited time. Is the goal to give up on you and only do for others? Or is there a way to find a balance between spending a portion of your lifetime doing for others and investing in yourself as well? What would you like to do with your temporary time on Earth?